I am a newly separated man heading to divorce as she has been cheating. I have four children whom I love dearly and spend a significant amount of time with. There isn’t a strong market for divorced 43 year old men with 4 children. But at the end of the day, my kids trump all else.
The first thought that comes to mind after reading this guy’s comment is, how the heck does he know what the market is like for 43 year-old divorced guys with four kids when he is newly separated? He doesn’t.
I have been divorced for nine years and I know what the market is for divorced men in their forties who have kids. There is NO SHORTAGE of women who want to date you. Trust me.
Now, I am talking about women who are in their late thirties, women in their forties, and even women in their fifties. If you think we are too old, two things. One, look around. There are some of the most absolutely gorgeous women over 40 out there. Secondly, if you are looking for a woman in her early twenties than you are right. Those women aren’t interested in you. But, why on earth would you care?? Those women want children of their own, and trust me, if you went out with them you’d quickly realize you have absolutely nothing to talk about.
So, let’s get back to the late 30’s, 40 or 50 something babes. Here are 10 qualities we want in a man, single, divorced, kid-less, father of four or someone in between:
1. Kind-hearted
2. Smart
3. Funny
4. Honest
5. Loyal
6. Trustworthy
7. Fun
8. Thoughtful
9. Motivated
10. A great dad
The point is, there are the things we care about. We love the fact that you are a caring, giving, loving father. It is a very attractive quality! We also love your baggage, meaning we love that you have lived and experienced things. It makes your personality rich and the stories you have to share meaningful and interesting and funny and lively.
I do feel the need to mention that looks matter. I’m not going to sit here and say they don’t, because you’d know I was lying. That said, you will find that women over 40 aren’t expecting Ryan Reynolds and Ryan Gosling look-a-likes. What we want is a man who makes an effort to keep his body in shape. (doesn’t have to be perfect, but rather healthy.) We also like a man with good hygiene, which includes groomed nails and toenails.
At this stage, what is inside a person can make them either more attractive or more unattractive. Passion and desire and lust all stem from what’s in someone’s heart, what they say, their actions, and how they make you feel about yourself.
In closing, if you are a man over 40 with kids, don’t be insecure about it. Focus on being the 10 things I mentioned above and you will see that there is a strong market for you!
Joe
The last thing a guy staring down the barrel of a divorce needs to worry about is “the market.” I agree that there are plenty of women out there for men of all ages with all kinds of baggage. But this guy needs to concentrate on himself and his kids right now. The biggest mistake(s) I’ve made in life is/are rushing to fill the absence a woman. Enjoy being alone. Enjoy the freedom and autonomy. Enjoy being a man again. Jump a flight to Bermuda for the weekend without having to check with anyone. Enjoy life. Somewhere in THAT journey, maybe you’ll meet another woman worth slowing down for…..or even better, maybe you’ll meet one who can actually keep up.
GaGirl
I recently and unexpectedly have started seeing a guy getting divorced. I was actually an employee of his wife and took the business over, and we just started talking and it hasn’t stopped. He’s an incredible funny, kind man. I’m blown away by him. I’m nervous because I don’t want a rebound, and I don’t think that’s what this is. We recently tried to make love, both of us so excited, but he was so nervous and insecure, it didn’t go far. His ex treated him like crap, for sure wasn’t a 50/50 partner at all, so I guess it’s in his head. So far so good though. Lucky me she made a mistake of tossing him out. She can totally have the single in our 40s life, I’ll take the sweet man that makes me smile.