The following article about single dads was written and posted by me on Divorced Girl Smiling right before Father’s Day of this year. I thought it was the perfect blog post to launch Divorced Guy Grinning, as it is a celebration of the courage, commitment and loyalty that I see in countless single dads I come across!
18 Things I Love About Single Dads by Jackie Pilossoph
I can’t speak from personal experience, but I have to believe that the life of a single dad is no picnic. Just as single moms do it, single dads have so much juggling in their lives.
If you think about it, they have to juggle work, kids’ activities, social life, working out, food shopping, other errands, family obligations and the alone time we all crave. It’s overwhelming!
Some single dads aren’t great parents. In fact, some are awful, as are some single moms. But I know countless single dads who are amazing men, thoughtful, loving fathers who give fatherhood their all.
So, in honor of Father’s Day, I’d like to celebrate single dads and thank them for all of their hard work and dedication to their children by posting:
“18 Things I love About Single Dads.”
1. Bed making at their house isn’t a high priority.
2. They actually GO INTO the pool and swim with their kids versus lying in a lawn chair catching rays.
3. They usually say yes to a request to go get ice cream.
4. They play dolls, house and dress up. They also bake cookies.
5. McDonalds is a regularly visited restaurant.
6. They come to baseball games in a suit, probably having dashed out of the office to catch as much of the game as they can.
7. They volunteer to be a coach for their son or daughter’s team.
8. They give great hugs.
9. They’re usually smiling (when I see them) and seem like they’re really enjoying being with their children.
10. Staying up late isn’t a big deal to them.
11. They’re fun! (sorry, moms, you’re fun, too, but they’re REALLY fun)
12. They act silly, but not in public places.
13. They tell funny jokes.
14. They can rattle off sports stats like no one else (which sporty kids love)
15. They usually pull out their cell phones and start taking pics of their kids when the opportunity arises.
16. They don’t scold kids if they forget to brush their teeth.
17. They’re more open to the opportunity of getting their kids a pet.
18. They have this look of pride on their face that clearly shows how much they love being a dad.
I know I’m generalizing. Not all single dads are like this. As I said before, I know plenty of single dads (and single moms) who are not good at being parents. There might be single moms reading this and cringing because their ex doesn’t do any of the 18 things. In fact, he might not even be in his kids’ lives. If that’s the case, I’m sad for the children and I’m sorry. But, all my 18 things are things I’ve seen in countless single dads I know. (and single moms, too.)
I’d like to address one more thing. If there is a lot of hostility and resentment in your divorce, it might be hard to acknowledge how hard your ex-husband is working to be the best single dad he can be. I’m recommending that this Father’s Day, get over it and wish your ex a Happy Father’s Day for the things he does for your kids.
In closing, I want to say that for me, being a mom is my most important role in life, and I think that there are millions of other single moms who feel that way. But, there are also millions of dads who feel the same way, and what I’m trying to say is that it shows. It really does.
Happy Father’s Day!
Ted Moore
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Michael
I see my 3 year old son every other weekend and extended visits during the holidays and summer. Although I miss being married and just for the reason of seeing my son everyday, I thoroughly enjoy being a single father. I don’t have the hassle of my wife (ex wife) parenting me on how to parent my son. The very first thing I do when I pick him up is go to the grocery store. He helps me pick out items, I hand them to him, and he throws it in the basket. The store sells helium balloons. I make sure to give him one whenever he asks. I also take my son to the indoor pool. “Pool, pool, I want to go to the pool”, he says. “Of course, son. I’m taking to the pool.” So, #2 really connected with me. Even though I miss married life, my uninterrupted time with my child, 48 hours in all, is something I live for every two weeks. I wish it could be more, but I live four hours from him. I was a school teacher and now I’m a federal contractor. There aren’t any high paying jobs where my son lives. However, I did keep the house so my son could feel at home. I’m able to do this because my job pays more than what my ex wife and I used to make together. He calls it “Daddy’s house” and “my house”. I have him this weekend. I can’t wait to take him trick-or-treating and to the pool.
Jeff De Meyer
Thank you for this story. It means doubly as much coming from a woman. Sometimes I feel single Mom’s are celebrated while single Dad’s, and Dad’s in general, get forgotten or are underappreciated. I have my daughter 50% of the time, and yes, we spend lots of time in the pool playing water basketball and being silly. My daughter is 10 and I’ve only been separated/divorced for about a year. So, its all new for both of us. I also kept my house, like the above poster, to do my part in lessening the impact of the change for my daughter. Although, I’ve always been the cook in the house, so we don’t go to McDonalds much. She eats a lot of fast food when she is with her Mom so I try and cook her favorites when she is with me.
Kevin
I firmly agree with your story. Thank you for your words of encouragement.